How to fix long sentences
A long sentence is not a mistake. A run of them is where readers start rereading. This guide shows how to tell which long sentences cost your reader, and what to do about them.
Why it matters
Length alone is not a problem, but a run of long sentences gives readers no place to pause and consolidate.
What you can do
One main idea per sentence
Find the sentence's separate claims and give each its own sentence.
Ask yourself: How many separate claims does this sentence make?
Show an example
BeforeThe survey found that most parents supported the change, although many worried about cost, and a third said they would need help with transport.
AfterThe survey found that most parents supported the change. Many worried about cost, and a third said they would need help with transport.
Turn an inline series into a list
When a sentence carries a long series, consider a short list or a colon.
Ask yourself: Is part of this sentence a list in disguise?
Show an example
BeforeThe grant covers staff salaries and training costs and travel to partner sites and the purchase of equipment.
AfterThe grant covers four things: salaries, training, travel to partner sites and equipment.
Follow a long sentence with a short one
A short sentence after a long one gives readers a place to rest and lands the point.
Ask yourself: After this long sentence, where does the reader get to rest?
Show an example
BeforeAfter two years of hearings, delays and revised estimates, the council approved the project, which had grown to three times its original budget.
AfterAfter two years of hearings, delays and revised estimates, the council approved the project. It had tripled in cost.
When to leave it as it is
The sentence is easy to follow because its parts come in a natural order, and the sentences around it are shorter.
See it in a real text
Prosemetry raises this in paragraph 6 of Persuasion, Chapter 1 by Jane Austen. Open the sample at that paragraph to see the note as a writer would, read-only.
See it in your own draft
Prosemetry reads your Word document and marks the passages where this happens, so you know where to look. It doesn’t rewrite anything; the revising stays yours. Free to try, no account needed.
Analyze my draft